I haven’t written much lately. There’s a reason for that.
It isn’t because I haven’t had time, although to be fair, I don’t think I would ever have time to do much unless I just set my head to do it. Two little ones, a full-time job that is more than full-time, a minister’s home, and a few other random commitments make for a busy girl.
But no. That isn’t why I haven’t written much. No, I haven’t written much because I didn’t think I could write without all my storm of emotions showing through. I tend to be kind of transparent. And unfortunately, I couldn’t seem to rein in my emotions to be able write what I needed and what you need as well (or at least what I perceive you need).
You see, in our home, we’ve been undergoing a lot of changes lately. Can you relate? I bet even non-minister’s wives homes can relate. But a minister’s home is particularly sensitive to change. Any job can infuse stress into a family’s home, but when your job is something as personal as being the minister to families and people you love, change can mean happy times…or sad times…or sometimes, even a combination of the two.
We’ve served at our church for nearly 14 years. We’ve seen people join, and we’ve seen people move away. We’ve lost people we loved, and we’ve seen kids go from kindergarten to graduation…and beyond.
And to be honest? My husband and I grew up there.
Oh, we thought we were grown-ups when we came there. But who doesn’t when they are in their early-to-mid 20’s? But we really grew up here. We finished degrees here, we learned how to manage change, we learned how to grow, and how to be (more) graceful when we were wrong. We had children here…children who have been surrounded by such great love since their birth that they don’t know anything but an abundance of love.
So when the Lord started impressing on my husband’s heart…and later mine…that it may be time to leave, our hearts were broken. I’m not sure how to articulate how that feels, but I bet you understand. We didn’t understand the plan, or the direction, but we did understand the emotion.
And so, on May 15, when my husband resigned from our church, we were able to begin the emotional healing process a little more publicly. I won’t lie. The past 2 weeks have been hard. We have been blessed by the outpouring of love and emotion that has been shared with us…and we’ve been humbled. All we had done was love this church, and this town, and this county…and apparently some people reciprocated that feeling.
Was it always perfect? Nope. Did we all always get along? Not really. Did we always see eye to eye? Were we ever grumpy? No…and yes! Were relationships ever strained? Of course. But the beauty of love is that it can transcend even those circumstances.
So, I apologize to my blog readers for my (most likely) gaps of absence lately. But I just couldn’t write very much without laying my soul bare…and I couldn’t do it yet.
Perhaps now I can talk a little more about it over the next couple of weeks…and prayerfully someone will benefit from being able to identify with our journey.
In the meantime, perhaps it would help you to share how a major change in your life has helped you to grow…or forced a move you weren’t prepared for? We’re here for you.
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12 Comments
I thought you were just tied up watching the Reds game. It’s still on, right?
I’ll pray for you through this time of change and transition. It seems in my family that our changes always come in the form of major upheaval. Not just one major change at a time, but several. We had job change/move/child within two month time frame TWICE in two years. I don’t think we’ve handled the transitions well, unfortunately. I don’t even know what God is teaching me in all this. I’m trying to listen, though.
Blessings on you, your husband and your little ones.
Oh, I watched all 6 hours, 11 minutes and 19 painful innings of that game. I’ll refrain from commenting about that, though. *SIGH*
I appreciate your prayers! I often wonder what I’m supposed to be learning through all these changes, but one thing comes through for me loud and clear repeatedly — I need to remain humble. The Lord reminds me that he is in charge and that I’m really not all that pretty frequently. I’d say there is something else to be learned as well — I just need to be patient and keep my heart nice and soft and receptive. When I think of all the mistakes I’ve made and the words mis-spoken over the years, it nearly takes my breath away.
Thanks again for remembering me!
Being in transition is so hard. Ministry is not just our job…it’s our life! Not many people understand how difficult it is to leave a place you’ve poured your heart and soul into- even if things aren’t perfect in that place. Been through that several times. So glad to hear that your people are treating you with love during these stressful times. Thanks for sharing here. I’ll be praying for you & your family.
Thank you for your words and communicating where you are in the “right-now” of it all. God’s strength, joy and peace upon you and yours!!!
Stephanie…it is sooo hard! But we’ll get through it. Thanks for the kind words!
The “right-now” of it all changes from one minute to the next! What a roller coaster ride. Thanks for your encouragement. I choose joy!
Praying for you during this time of transition.
It will be a roller coaster for awhile…probably some days your broken heart will feel like it is choking you, then you will take a deep breath and hear God say “that’s my girl”. Know that you will be missed as some has said “I thought we would see the children graduate high school, college and get married”. There is NO reason that we can’t still see all those things. I believe Flemingsburg Baptist will always be a part of your family no matter where you are. I see that you and your family will touch as many lives as you did here and others will be blessed. God is so amazing and I can’t imagine what he has instore for you but I believe it will be awesome! For you, Pastor Chris, Grayson, Sarah and ALL those who enter your life. God Bless and keep you
You do choose joy Kasey! Even in your confusion and doubt your joy shines through. We have been blessed through your blog. I’m going to miss you and your insights on how the world looks from the PW’s perspective. (Hope you found your keys):)
I did find my keys, Peggy. But it was after a week of “major wiggage.”
Jessica, thank you!
Barb, you’re sweet. You all will ALWAYS be a part of our lives.